On The Other Side
by sakanascales876
Summary: Things weren't supposed to happen like this. They were supposed to be happy. He knew he wasn't enough-couldn't be there enough to help her anymore. But no matter what lifetime they were in, the feelings were always the same. Always.


Well...long time no see, huh? I don't even know where to begin...I realize I've been MIA for nearly a year, and no excuse is a good excuse, but everyone knows how life gets. I'm so sorry for the lack of updates, and since it is the Christmas season-time-thing, I decided I'd actually muster up some brain power and write something for all of you. Of course, it turned into this, which is _not_ one of my more cheerful stories. Yeah, I have no idea where this story came from, but be happy to know that I've actually been kicking myself around long enough so that I might get off my unmotivated butt and write something. Don't know what, but it'll exist, and that's always a start...

Just a warning: for those of you who are more into my happy, funny, fluffy, etc. stories, be warned that this one is not like them at all. At least I don't think so. Just letting you all know. And this is an** _AU fic _**by the way, sort of.

And of course, what's a fanfic without the tried and true: I don't own Sailor Moon! There, I did it.

Hope you like it, and I hope that I can put out some more stories soon!

Oh, and forgive the wierd dashes everywhere. apparently hates Microsoft word format.

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><p><strong>On the Other Side<strong>

**by sakanascales876**

**I.**

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><p>He really couldn't help staring. He knew he was bound to receive some dirty looks from those around him, but he had stopped caring about what other people thought long ago.<p>

He would recognize that laugh anywhere.

It was shrill, and to many, annoying and childish. But it was warm and enticing, and despite his new-found anxiety at the situation, he couldn't help that his lips were twitching at the corners. He realized, with a dull ache in his heart, that she had always had that effect on him no matter how many times he'd tried to deny it.

It didn't matter which lifetime they lived in: the feelings were always the same.

And like always, his breath hitched as she walked by, chatting excitedly with a red-headed girl.

"Can you believe that, Usagi?"

_Usagi_. It seemed that she'd be dubbed as a rabbit forever. The name rolled off his tongue with ease.

"Sailor V is pretty cool, Naru, but I like Sailor Moon better," Usagi commented slyly, linking arms with her friend as they walked.

"Yeah, but I mean _no one_ has seen them in almost sixty years and then- - -BAM! They're back to fight the bad guys like they never even left! How cool is that?" The girl, Naru, sputtered.

And then they were out of his sight, off to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what.

So, it had started again…it seemed that the senshi had once more been called to duty, yet the invitation hadn't been extended to him. He sighed. Something was out of place- - -things weren't supposed to happen like this. They were supposed to be happy. He was supposed to be _there_ with_ her_, Bunny or Usagi, to protect her. How could he do that in his current state?

With some difficulty, Darien Shields gripped his cane firmly and rose from the park bench.

The fact that plagued him the most was that she hadn't even recognized him.

- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -

It was happening just like before. The reports of attacks were rising gradually, and people were starting to shy from the streets of the city at night. The Shitennou had appeared once more, wreaking havoc on poor, unsuspecting citizens. The death tolls were mounting.

Reading the obituaries had become a constant in his life. He hoped, no, he _prayed_ that he wouldn't see her name in the paper. He'd lost her too many times. Even though he didn't even know her in this lifetime, he didn't think he could handle it again.

Every once in a while, there would be a story on a new senshi appearing: Mercury, then Mars- - -Jupiter and Venus were still missing in action. But it relieved him to know that at least she had some help.

If he couldn't be there for her, then damn it, her friends had better be.

Darien knew he was becoming more and more bitter as each day passed. He felt useless; he couldn't run or jump or fight like he used to. Hell, he could barely walk without the aid of his cane anymore. He couldn't help Usagi at all, and knowing how much Bunny had needed him before- - -it tore him to pieces.

- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -

He ran into her one day. Almost like the good old times.

He had been on his way home from the market, and he was rounding the corner when- - -

WHAM.

"Oh my gosh, sir, I am so sorry!"

Darien hadn't been knocked over, but she had. He was merely stunned, his face locked agape as disbelief coursed throughout his body. He barely noticed her struggling to pick up all of his groceries, all while furiously apologizing for her clumsiness.

She stood, handing them over to him and dusting herself off. "Are you alright, sir?"

The scene was so familiar. She'd stare at him uncertainly with her scintillating blue eyes, and he'd charmingly smile back at her before making some snide comment about her hair or her grades or even her diet. Now he just nodded, afraid to say anything. Ashamed.

Usagi seemed a bit put off by his coldness, or perhaps just his shyness, for she suddenly felt very small, like the old man staring down at her knew _everything_ about her.

As she moved swiftly passed him with one last hasty apology, she couldn't help but feel that he was staring after her the whole time.

- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -

He felt ridiculous. Was he just trying to relive the glory days? He knew he was acting like some reckless adolescent; he had always had a hero-complex.

Scratch that: he had always had a hero-complex when it came to saving _her_.

He was far too old to be crouched in a tree, waiting for the right moment to attack. Rose at the ready, it would only be a matter of time until he would be called into the fight.

Darien watched with a familiar awe as she raced into the battle somewhat skillfully, a feat that his Bunny had never accomplished. It hadn't mattered, he had always been proud of her no matter what. But he was certainly not as young as he used to be, and his knees and calves were shrieking in agony as he waited.

He struck.

Like always, the youma screamed and searched for him. But this time it would find nothing. Merely a bewildered Sailor Moon and a furious Sailor Mars trying to make sense of their timely stroke of luck. They quickly finished off the youma, allowing a cackling Jadeite to get away with all of the newly acquired energy.

Sailor Moon stepped cautiously up to the bloody rose. A flash of white light and the shadow of a scream registered in the back of her mind. She could have sworn that after the flower hit its target she had seen a swish of black in the trees.

Who was he?

- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -

Darien sank down the wall with a gasp, his legs giving out beneath him. He had some facts to face.

His hair was gray, his vision was going, and he could hardly walk.

He was too old to be playing these games.

A flash of gold in his mind. Blond hair slowly tinting scarlet as he held her dying form. The red-haired witch laughing at her pain, his suffering, his tears. And then she left him, like she always did. Like she had in the first life, and like she was going to in their last.

His decision was set. He wouldn't allow that to happen again, _ever _again.

He grabbed the wall for support, slowly trying to inch his way back up. But his knees caved in, and he found himself back on the floor. Darien bowed his head so that the frustrated tears trailing down his face were invisible to the world. He wouldn't give Destiny the satisfaction. But he knew that he still couldn't help her.

He sobbed.

- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -

It was his favorite spot.

It felt like nothing but Earth. Pure, pristine Earth.

Mottled ducks swam obliviously about the pond, sometimes getting into scuffles with one another, playing and biting and living. He fed them stale bread crumbs, and they flocked to him, sitting on his lonely bench at the end of the dock.

Water had always enticed him. He remembered swimming in his younger days. He glanced forlornly at the water, wishing for his youth. For a reflection that he didn't hate. For the vigor and muscle that would allow him back into the game. Back into her game.

"Sir, may I sit here?" a timid voice asked.

He was too afraid and embarrassed at what he had become to look her at her. Instead, he stared at her reflection. A curt nod was all she needed and he felt a slight weight perch at the end of the bench, and he could feel his breath slowly leaving him.

It was then that he noticed that he had been throwing full handfuls of food at the ducks, who were angrily hissing at the abuse. He knew she was silently laughing beside him, and it slightly irritated him. She grabbed a small amount of bread crumbs from his bag and gently scattered them across the water. Immediately, the ducks swam to her.

"Figures they'd like you better," he grumbled to himself, a little nervous to find her laughing along with him.

Usagi smiled. "Hey, you're the one with the food. They'll figure out soon enough that beggars can't be choosers."

He was beginning to feel the familiar spread of warmth in his chest, which he had been deprived of for such a long time. The once-suave Darien now found himself struggling for words.

"What's someone like you doing out here on a day like this?" He suddenly hoped she would leave. She was making him too anxious.

She shrugged from the corner of his eye. "I don't know. The same reason you're here, I guess. Just needed a place to stop and think."

"I come here to get _away_ from thinking," he corrected none-too-gently. Usagi noticed an almost accusatory tone in his voice.

"I can say I know what you mean," she replied softly, letting out a gentle sigh and staring across the pond, and probably across the world, he guessed.

It suddenly became too much to sit next to her. Shame and embarrassment pooled within his stomach, and he felt sick. With great effort, Darien was on his feet in a matter of seconds, pushing the bag of crumbs into her hands and curtly wishing her goodbye. She turned and frowned after him, marveling at the bizarreness of the man.

Rolling her eyes good-naturedly, Usagi shifted back into her seat, grabbing a handful of food and tossing it into the water.

But the ducks were gone.

- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -

She knew it was never a good idea to read and walk, but she couldn't help herself. Checking the obituaries in the paper had almost become like breathing to her. She always scanned the names, searching for those dreaded ones so dear to her.

Ami. Rei. Shingo. Motoki. Naru.

It was bad enough that the Dark Kingdom was mostly winning the battles, and that they were no closer to finding the princess or the Ginzuishou than they had been in the beginning. But now the enemy was getting craftier. They were striking quicker than before, so quick that it was already too late by the time any of the Senshi got there.

She ran down the list of unfamiliar names, glad to see that none of her family or friends were on it. However, one name caught her attention.

_Shields, Darien. Aged seventy three. Shields committed suicide in his home Sunday evening. Leaves behind no family. If anyone has information about the deceased, please inform…_

She stopped, willing herself to try and remember why the name seemed so important to her, why it _should_ seem so important to her. Nothing came to mind, so she did as she always did. She crumpled up the paper and tossed it over her shoulder. She saved the world on a daily-basis; she figured no one would get angry at her for being too lazy to find a trash can.

"Oi! I am not a trash bin, Odango!" a deep voice shouted after her.

Usagi tensed and flushed, slowly turning around with a sheepish grin. She blushed even more when she realized how attractive the man was. Black hair and blue eyes. She sighed internally…she was so weak…

"Sorry, sir! I didn't see you behind me!" She smiled for good measure, hoping to charm her way out of the situation.

However, the man wasn't fazed. "Watch where you're going next time, Odango Atama!"

"What did you call me?" she screeched as he reached down to bat at one of her newly christened 'Odangoes'.

"I believe I just called you 'Odango'," he answered smartly, patting the bun playfully one last time before continuing on.

Usagi found herself gawking after him, her voice failing her. She felt the man could use some good verbal abuse to knock his ego down a peg or two, but she couldn't seem to place any of her words. So instead she settled on screaming, "You're such a jerk!"

"Actually, I'm Chiba Mamoru, but thanks for noticing. I do try."

And with a nonchalant wave that almost seemed rude to her, he went around the corner, leaving an open-mouthed Usagi behind him.

"What a freak," she grumbled, storming into the Arcade with a strange pang in her chest, hoping that she'd at least get a chance to flirt with Motoki before the day was over.

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><p>I really have no idea what inspired me to write this, but I'm glad I got it out of my head.<p>

Let me know what you thought! And thanks to all of you who sometimes flame my message box to get me to write something!

And if I can't get anything out before, then Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to everyone!

-Fishyscales :)


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